Who Cut The Cheese?

So an eighth grader in Lakeland, Florida was suspended from riding the school bus for breaking wind. Incredible.....I am convinced a fart will always be funny to me, but apparently the bus driver felt differently. Were the windows on the bus locked? Did this kid have one too many helpings of the mystery meat at lunchtime? In 'researching' for this post, I came across a great site on passing gas, lots of good facts here.

Hopefully this kid learned his lesson, and his mom will pack Tums in his backpack...

Light At The End Of The Tunnel?

The state of Michigan is in a funk. The auto industry is struggling, the Lions just completed the first 0-16 season, and there seems to be no end to it all. But there is hope........not from Obama and the bailout plans, rather the West Michigan Whitecaps! The Whitecaps are set to debut what could be the most caloric item ever offered at a ballpark, the Fifth Third Burger. It is named after this guys favorite bank, which also happens to be the sponsor of the West Michigan stadium. The burger is 5/3 (1.66)lbs of beef followed by lettuce, tomato, (everyone needs their veggies) salsa, sour cream, chili, and Fritos, (naturally) on an 8 inch sesame bun. The burger sells for $20 and feeds 1 to 4 people. It will be an escape from reality, most likely since it will solidify your arteries cutting off blood flow to your heart, rendering you a vegetable. But anyone that finishes it themselves will get a free t-shirt!

Now to the good stuff, the nutritional information:

Calories 4,889g or the same as eating 9 Big Macs
Total Fat 299g, the equivalent of 12.5 Classic Cinnabon Rolls
Saturated Fat 199g, same as eating 50 Taco Bell Beef Soft Tacos
Cholesterol 744mg , just like eating 4 Chipotle Chicken Burritos
Sodium 10,887mg or the equivalent of 15 Skyline Cheese Coneys
Total Carbs 354g, same as eating 7 Chicken Club Sandwiches from Wendy's
Protein 198g , or 5.5 Outback Bloomin' Onions

So if you plan on visiting Western Michigan this summer and getting a Fifth Third Burger, please make sure your Will is up to date and a defibrillator is nearby.

Going Mainstream!

Check out the Xavier preview I wrote on deadspin.com. Deadspin is a sports website owned by Gawker Media that claims to deliver sports without "access, favor, or discretion." Deadspin is one of the highest trafficked blogs on the internet, and a favorite of mine.

Xavier vs Portland State Preview

Later yo TJ!

Today TJ Houshmandzadeh signed a 5 year $40 million contract with $15 million in guarantee money. That's a lot to give a 31 year old. Needless to say I'm happy for TJ, and think he made the best decision. While TJ is busy building his money bin in the pacific northwest, bengal fans will be preparing to support a team that lost its most consistent player over the past four years and likely won't do anything about it. Some will miss his ponytail and incessant complaining to the refs, I'll miss hearing every TV announcer pronounce his name differently.

So far the Bengals have signed a couple of retreads (Crocker, Blackstock, DeDe) while watching 2 of their free agents sign for a combined $100 million. Even with an easy schedule (Lions! Raiders! Texans!), I can't see this team winning more than four games in 2009